Surgery

Yup, that's right. Surgery. Fuzzy boy Felix will be going under the knife this afternoon. I'm so worried.

Last night after leaving Felix at the vet, the put him under anesthesia, emptied his bladder, put in a catheter, and put him on IV fluids. He woke up from anesthesia and peed twice after 6pm last night and we left him about 5:30pm last night. Way to go my little pants boy! He's feeling okay, snuggling up to the hot water bottles in his compartment, and he's getting food today. I hope he eats it, if not, I'm sneaking him some chicken or tuna. He's a sucker for both. He's such a sucker, that yesterday when he was feeling so crappy, I still got him to eat some tuna! He's my little garbage pale!

Last night when they emptied his bladder, there were no signs of urine crystals. Bad news for us, worse news for Felix. We don't know yet what kind of crystals he has. So we have no way to determine the course of treatment. One treatment could make him worse, the other could help. We have no way of knowing. So this morning the vet took x-rays and there's one large crystal stuck in his urinary tract, and one in his kidney. Safest strategy, is to have the vet remove the crystal in his tract through surgery, the one in his kidney will remain. So my little spitty kitten will have surgery =( He's going to get the shaved tummy. We're going to go visit him today, provided the evening shift will let us in. Grandma Carol, is going to go visit her grand-kitty Felix during the morning shift. He'll need comfort from someone he recognizes! If the vet will let me, I'm bringing him a blankie from home so he has something that smells like us and his brother.

My Unique Children

Some people have biological children, some adopt, we have fluffy feline children. I dote on them like any other parent. Our boys are our life.

Today is a bad day. Felix, our youngest, is sick. Sick like I could never have imagined my child could be. Sure, he has hairballs, and a few that passed the less direct rout that was cause for some real concern, but never has he been this kind of sick. Just taking one look at his face this morning, you knew something was absolutely terribly wrong.

We took Felix to the kitty doctor tonight, after the episodes of frequent visits to the potty with no success, some vomiting, and being more antisocial than usual, and frequent bouts of cries. Felix is a talker, but he's not a crier. When we'd pick him up, he'd cry. It broke my heart to hear him.

I came home from work early today because Corey and I were so worried about him. He wasn't eating or drinking. Spending the day hiding. Felix had only gotten worse as the day progressed. So I called the vet and we took him in. Poor little man. Any sort of change traumatizes him (I'm surprised the vacuum doesn't give him a coronary). So he cried his on my way to the vet cry, tried to bury himself in the towels in the carrier, and all around felt miserable.

Our little guy has urine crystals. He couldn't pee, not even a drop. So after a trembling chin, we left him at the vet, one of the most heart breaking things I've ever had to do. They put Felix to sleep, emptied his bladder, catheterized him, put him one fluids, and now my poor sweet thing has to wear a cone. The little boy who can't stand to wear a collar, what is he going to do with a cone? So he's feeling better, but isn't better, yet.

His urine was free of crystals which means he's still blocked up, which means after the x-ray the vet will take in the next day or 2, he may have to have surgery. Cosmo is already going to make fun of him for having his leg shaved, can you imagine the ridicule he's going to get if his tummy is shaved too?!? ;o)

It's amazing how much you love some one and how bad it hurts when they're sick. How miserable you feel when he's missing. How you can't wait until you get him back. I miss my Felix, my little fuzzy snuggle bug.

Riddle me this Batman...

Happy first day of school! I hate school buses, in case anyone cares. Especially when the darling little bus riders are late for their bus.

Happy first day of school, unless you live in the Bellevue school district. Your teachers are on strike, your summer vacation has been extended and likely next year's summer will be shorter. Hats off to your teachers. In my opinion, celebrities should be making minimum wage while our teachers make millions a year. But that's not the point.

The point is:
(climbing onto soap box)
Why are the teachers striking today? The Bellevue School district has known since June (mind you) that if a new contract wasn't reached by today, teachers would be striking today. Why did it take all summer for them to begin negotiations when the simple answer was to negotiate a new contract at the end of the last school year? Hmm? Riddle me that Batman...

(tripping off soap box)
I am finished.
That is all.

Oh to want to be a naughty girl

So I've been itching to blog for a while now. But I have been refraining, with a lot of difficulty.

I'm a currently in the middle of a new job search. I am fed up with my current employment and looking for something more fulfilling. It's been a long, frustrating process. I can't make myself apply for those jobs that will put me right back into a situation like I am in now. I just can't do it! So it's making the search and application a wee bit more difficult.

I have found the job love of my life! I just need the interview. I know in my heart if I can obtain that crucial interview, I'll nail the job. I'm keeping my entire body crossed at the moment and keeping positive about the whole thing. Please help in keeping your fingers crossed for me too!

The only little problem I see in applying for jobs is, I have to keep my nose clean and watch what I say on the internet. Many companies do internet searches to research their potential future employees. The company I have applied at, it really wouldn't surprise me if they took a peak at my bolg (hint hint, they run this blog site. Should I have said that? Ah well, I'm throwing caution to the wind). So far I haven't felt like I've posted anything abnormally outrageous, or contemptuous. All in all, it's nothing I feel I should be worried about. But boy am I'm really having to bite my tongue these past few months.

One of my former colleagues and I had many long talks about work ethics and treatment of employees, at what was once a shared employment. He has fortunately moved on to another job. Needless to say, these conversations we had were not exactly positive conversations. Now, I'm not one to talk bad about people. I like to have a positive attitude it makes life more enjoyable. The negative really does have a way of putting a dark gloom over things. And besides, it makes me feel like a horrible person talking negative about someone. It's just my nature.

So here's my dilemma. I want to share with people my current experiences to make them aware that it's NOT okay to treat your employees in such a manor as I experience every day, but I don't want it to be construed by potential future employers as bad mouthing my current employer. It's not bad mouthing I want to express, it is about basic human treatment that everyone is entitled too regardless. So I'm left in an ethical quandary as to what to do. The right thing would be to keep my fingers quite. But do I have to keep the quite forever? Is there ever a right time to share?

The best solution to my current problem, would to be to resign from my job, but with the cost of living on the rise, it would be a very irresponsible move on my part financially. So responsible I shall continue to be, but ethically torn by my standards of treatment and need to continue to bring home a paycheck. It's remarkably a hard situation to deal with. I'm starting to understand why people continue to work at low end jobs. They have to, just to make ends meet. It's a sad situation.

But, as with all things in my life, I like to try to leave things with a positive note.

There are some things I do appreciate at my job. There are people that I work with (outside my office) who truly make it worth going to work each day. And to those people, thank you for all your support and kindness and those smart ass comments that keep me laughing. I shall miss them all when I leave, they have become part of my family.

A light box epiphany

So, Corey got a copy of Adobe Light Box for his birthday this year. It's a photo editing software that he's been playing with for the last couple of days. Last night I was perusing through the pictures that were loaded in the software. We have vacation pictures from our trip to Disneyworld in 2006 and our most current trip to Disneyland this year. This software is way cool. You can tag pictures for sorting. Corey tagged pictures of me, him, the both of us, etc. So you can search pictures by person, by date, by even camera type and lenses the picture was taken with. I have to say it again, it's way cool.

But the software isn't the point of my story. The point of my story is the picture comparison of myself from December 2006 to January 2008. And I have to say, what a world of difference 13 months can make for one person.

Let me start back about 5 years ago. 5 years ago (give or take) Corey and I moved in together into an apartment. I moved out of my parents home and into my first real adult place. No more mom doing my laundry (yes she still did my laundry, but not by my choice), no more home cooked meals. I was truly on my own as an adult. Financial independence. Moving out meant it was now up to Corey and I to do it all on our own. Including grocery shopping. Grocery shopping was fun then. Macaroni and cheese, Top Ramen, bags of chips, and yes the required fruits and vegetables. I bought the goodies I never got at home. It was great.

It was great until about 4 months later. 4 months later, I realized I had gained 20 pounds. 20 pounds!!! I was now a 5ft, 5in 23 year old who weighed 170 pounds! Holy Crap. It shocks me even today that I weighed 170lbs, a few pounds off of being obese. I went on a crash diet after that and lost 10 pounds, only to regain 5. At least it was only 5 and not the 10 I'd lost originally. I tried to be pro active in the quest to loose more weight. I signed up for the gym and had a few personal trainer sessions to learn how to really push myself and have an effective and challenging work out. That was 2006. I went to the gym 2-3 times a week, minimum, took walks during my lunch hours, tried to worked on my portion control, and tried not to eat too many fries and potato chips. Only to succeed in not loosing a single pound.

It frustrates me now thinking about it that I worked hard and didn't loose a single pound. If I did loose any weight, it was gained back later. At the time, I was okay with the out come. I felt good and thought I looked good. I was a little more trimmed and muscular than I had been before. I had reached my goal of being relatively in shape for our 2006 Disneyworld trip. I thought I looked not to shabby. Key word, I THOUGHT.

Since that December trip, I have, by some miracle of some kind, been fortunate to loose as of this morning, 14 pounds over the last 13 months. I've made it from 165 pounds down to 151 pounds. One pound short of my starting weight 5 years ago. I can't claim any dieting secrets, I can speculate on a few reasons almost all of them being medical with a little hard work every now and then. I can thank a medication that works a little as an appetite suppression (and I'll be sad to see that go when it does) and a digestion ailment which hinders my desire to eat which has succeeded in shrinking my stomach enough that I can only eat small portions now. But that is the key. The small portions. I eat relatively frequently throughout the day, but it's small portions of one thing or another that has really jump started this process and made the weight loss stick and continue to work. It took me a year to loose the 10 pounds, but you know what, I haven't gained a single pound back. As impatient as I am, it's been the length in time that has allowed me to keep those 10 pounds successfully off and hopefully keep them off permanently.

This brings me back to Light Box and what started this blog. I was comparing trip pictures last night and what a difference those 13 months have shown. I was chunky a year ago and I was okay with it then. Now, not so much. I'm not okay with how overweight I looked! I'm almost embarrassed to show any one those pictures from a year ago. I feel shame now at how I let myself go. But it's also a tool that I can continue to use. Hence the epiphany. Pictures are a great motivational tool to keep moving forward. I like the Disneyland pictures of myself, but I don't love them. But I will use them to continue to better the way I look and feel about myself. To use them as a reminder that I can and do look and feel better and to continue to do so.

My goal, to make it back to the 135 pounds I used to be in High school. To be healthy and active and back in shape. I have another 16 pounds to go, and if it takes me another 2 years to do it, I'm okay with that.

What once was a dream (part 1)

It's about time I got back to blogging. Maybe.

Last week I got home from a birthday trip with Corey. It was his birthday and he's always wanted to go somewhere for his birthday, so we went to Disneyland. One of his most favorite places to go. The weather was rainy and cold, but we powered through the trip. It quit raining Monday morning and things got busier. I can't complain about the rain (seeing as how I do live in a very rainy city), we did get to walk on to most of the rides because of it. A pair of rain coats and a Mickey umbrella did a great service. We were prepared for the rain, this time. I think our longest wait for any ride was 15 minutes and that's because we waited for the front seat on California Screaming. We even got on Nemo's submarine ride in under 15 minutes, now that is some good planning!

Overall we had a good time. The off season has really spoiled us on any theme park. No waiting. No hot, sweltering day. No overcrowded restaurants or long waits for food. The only set back to off peak season is that some of the rides are closed for upkeep. That works for me depending upon which rides are closed. We only missed It's a Small World. An annoying classic, that I did truly miss riding on this time around.

By the end of the trip I was a little disappointed and let down. The happiest place on earth isn't so happy any more. What has happened to Walt's dream? It's so sad to see Walt's pride and joy become a place where happiness is forced, paint is peeling, the grounds are littered, and the plant life in need of desperate up keeping. Where did his vision go?

Am I being biased? Am I expecting too much? Am I just growing up? What happened that dream place I knew as a child? Where is the Disneyland that used to be?

Disneyland today is not what Disneyland was even 3, 4 years ago. The magic is disappearing. We walked through so many buildings that were looking warn and in desperate need of cleaning and sprucing up. Paint peeling from railings, concrete cracked and holy. Shrubs in need of trimming, old vegetation rotting on the grounds. Garbage strewn along the walkways with no "street" sweepers in sight. Cast members can are even seen walking down main street looking as though they hate their job and would rather be anywhere else. They act out of character, and talk gossip about their other co-workers throughout the day. They rarely smile. It's as if the park has lost it's happiness. It's as if Walt's dream is dying.

I understand that we arrived during a very non peak season where Disney does spend it's time fixing up it's parks. But the degree of neglect this park is saddening.

Now don't get me wrong, our trip was not full of disappointments. There is a little magic still left there. You just have to find it sometimes. There were a few exceptional cast members who truly have the Disney spirit. The ride operator on Peter Pan who put smiles on every little child's face, and many of the big "children's" faces as well. And the embroiderer at the Mad Hatter. I wish I remember the embroiderer's name, I only remember his home town was in Japan. He truly had the Disney Magic and absolutely made the day special for me. I bought my first pair of Mickey ears in 22 years (I had a pair when I was 6) and he spent the time finding and listening to my Mickey Ear quest, to my story about the 6 year old with the Mickey ears destroyed after so many years of use. And after the ears were done, he gave me one of his "My dreams came true at Disneyland" buttons. Because my quest and dream had come true. To own a new pair of Mickey ears with my name on it. He some how knew that he had help make a dream come true.